American Idol Song Contest

OK, so it's an overwhelming task to try to catch you up on the last THREE MONTHS, so I'm going to have to do it using slam poetry. The following should be read in an intense, theatrical, half-crazy kind of voice.

Seven years! SEVEN! Out on the ROAD, gettin' a left-arm tan drivin' my van, tryin' to be the MAN, tryin' to understand why my plan wasn't workin' out so GRAND. Records not sellin', crowd's not swellin', singin' over the talkin' feels a lot like yellin', and if it ain't gellin' then why am I freakin' here?

Gets a man thinkin' 'bout SONG writing. Been offered a new DEAL, been seein' the APPEAL of sittin' at home alone with a turned-off cell phone and gettin' checks in the MAIL while the MAIL MAN drives in the rain, sleet, snow and hail. And I love doin' it, so how can I fail? I'm plannin' on taking this deal, but there's one........thing.......stopping me........

You guessed it. I'm an American Idol Song Contestant. They want ONE SONG to rule them ALL, and of course they want to play it with an orchestra featuring a disco ball. They need a song that shines on the big stage, a song Sanjaya could sing to the Fanjayas half his age. So I wrote that song, and put it on my myspage page. Check it out. They're gonna pick the top twenty and start the votin' (that's slim odds, but here's a hopin'). If I DO make the cut, then tell yo mamma, 'cause I'll be needin' her vote worse than Barack Obama. Peace out y'all,