So here's a transcript of a recent phone conversation I had with my parents in Texas...
(mom) What are you all up to?
(me) Well, we're driving to pick up a van we just bought on E-Bay!
(mom) Oh, you are. Hmmm.
(me) Yup, and in about a month or so we're going to get it converted to run on vegetable oil!
(mom) (long silence)
(me) (more silence)
(mom) You're kidding right?
Nope! Introducing our new mode of transportation, purchased on E-Bay for $4,500. You'll notice it's not the same van I was looking at a few days back---that's because only diesel engines can be converted to run on vegetable oil. Plus I think this one is more practical for our purposes. Here's the story in pictures...
We bought the van from Ina and L. C. Heathcott in Newbern, TN. It's a 1993 Chevrolet G20.
When Jodi saw its old-fashioned charm, and thought about all the happy hours we will spend together collecting waste vegetable oil from back alleys, she glowed with excitement and pride.
After taking care of a little business with L.C. and Ina, and loading up some fresh tomatoes from their garden, it was time to hit the road in our new chariot!!
As soon as we entered the highway and felt the steady rumble of the van's rock-solid diesel engine, we knew we had made a good investment...
At which point the "Water In Fuel" light came on and we had to pull over. Luckily, L. C. and Ina had warned us about the bad fuel they sometimes get and we knew just what to do to quickly solve the problem...

Soon we were back on the highway, and Jodi wasted no time in getting on the cell phone and telling her family what a raving lunatic she had married.
On the way home we stopped to buy fuel---a soon-to-be-extinct ritual. That's right OPEC. I'm bootin' you off this gravy train... :)
We've already put about 800 miles on the van, and so far it's running like a top. The mechanics who are doing the conversion have started working on the parts, and plan to have us running on veggie oil in a month or two. I'm looking forward to loading it up with some world-class musicians, some sleeping bags and some Doritos, and heading your way. When you hear that guttural diesel engine and smell french fries wafting on the air, you'll know we're almost there...